*NO DATE* I was stood up!

I was stood up! Unbelievable! I’m The Virgin Student! Offers are flowing like water and the bastard that I happen to pick doesn’t turn up!

No, arrogance aside, I can see why somebody might be in two minds about meeting me and bottle out at the last minute. After all he (assuming the suitor really were a he) really didn’t know very much about me at all. Isn’t everyone nervous when it comes to blind dates? People must wonder why, if I really did score 8.5 on www.hotornot.com and I’m supposedly “quite pretty,” am I resorting to this in order to lose my virginity? Difficult to comprehend, I know. I imagine many suitors half expect me to walk in looking like the back end of a bus and smelling like a stale beef and ale pie. Even though I don’t, I doubt I would live up to the fantasy that some guys seem to have about me. Maybe he changed his mind because he was afraid he wouldn’t like me. Then again, maybe he changed his mind because he was afraid I wouldn’t like him. It must be particularly scary when the person you’re supposed to be meeting is publicly ridiculing everybody she goes on a date with.

I only hope that my next date (scheduled for Thursday) turns up.

An Adequate Definition of Losing It

I think perhaps neither of the proposed definitions of my goal, (firstly “Intercourse between a penis and a vagina” and then changed to “Orgasm with partner present.”) are satisfactory. I have already discussed the problems with the first, but since presenting the second definition I’ve had many emails telling my that it’s unlikely that I will climax during my first time. That makes it difficult however, to pinpoint exactly when somebody can consider that they have lost their virginity. Comments please.

By the way, to the person who informed me that his girlfriend needed a “good few months” practice in relaxing before she could have an orgasm with him, why was it necessarily only the girlfriend that needed to learn about her body in order to climax?

Question and Answer Time

So it’s question and answer time. Apologies if you’ve asked a really good question and I haven’t covered it in this post. I have to admit my email filing is particularly disorganized and frantic.

Do you use people’s real initial’s when referring to them?
No, I have never used anybody’s real initials. It wouldn’t be a kind thing to do.

How do you think this would work if a guy took on a similar project?
I don’t think it would be very well received at all. I think he would be inundated with insults from women calling him offensive and shallow. The range of responses would probably be the same but the balance would not. There are obvious hypocrisies when it comes to gender differences.

Are people beginning to guess who you are accurately?
One or two people have said to me, “I thought for a moment it was you but I know you wouldn’t do something like this!” and I’ve had three emails from people who are suspicious. On the other hand, I have had two emails accusing me of being people I’ve never heard of!

I was wondering if you plan to reveal your identity once the deed is done (so to speak)?
I’ve mostly answered this in a previous comment actually but the answer is yes, I will probably reveal my identity but not until I have reached a conclusion, whether that is completing the “deed” or deciding that now is not the right time. I think it would be a real shame for me and a little disappointing for some of my readers too, if my pursuit was cut short by meddling individuals.

How do you know someone who you meet through this website isn't just in it for the sex?
How do you know that anyone you meet isn’t just in it for sex? But I do know what you mean, there have been a lot of people telling me to wait until I meet someone I can trust and trust can’t be built in 2-3 weeks. I also realise that the sort of people who reply to this kind of website aren’t a typical cross section of the guys out there. However, I do think that "being the one" is appealing to a more wide spread audience than your average guy who uses a dating agency because it has unleashed a primal instinct in male readers. Males have evolved to compete for sexual intercourse with a woman and this is a fundamental example.

I can’t believe you were really so naïve about sex, haven't you ever tried masturbation?
I don’t know why, considering all that I have posted on this site, but I feel embarrassed to answer that. I’ll come back to that one. Gosh, I am shy after all.

More care in selecting dates

Due to concerns about my identity being revealed I’ve decided that from this point forward I’m going to be much more careful in selecting my dates. The incident with Robin/DF was too close a call and also acquaintances are becoming suspicious. I’m not sure in what way I will alter the selection process but I need to make changes fast.

*DATE* The Perils of Mixing Blind Dates and Real Life

I can’t believe my misfortune. I went for my lunch date with high expectations and who should my suitor “Robin” turn out to be but DF, the guy I met in real life just over two weeks ago. I immediately became paranoid, it seemed too much of a coincidence and I was certain that he’d found out my identity and that was why he’d called the date, but he hadn’t! The way this nasty accident had come about was that I’d subtly slipped mention of this website (although I hadn’t mentioned that it was by me) into the conversation when talking to the same group of mutual friends that had introduced me to DF. They had then given the link to him because they thought it would amuse him and he’d been sucked in. At that stage my blog had only just taken off and so I wasn't receiving many messages and had a chance to reply to him. I suppose that given he was attracted to me when he met me, it’s not such a surprise that he should be attracted to me as portrayed by my blog. Nevertheless, the coincidence didn’t have positive consequences.
DF seemed rather annoyed that I had been dating a different man everyday when I’d agreed to go on a date with him. I wanted to point out that I was not the only one of us to be dating other people but I didn’t think he was ready to listen. He said he thought that advertising myself on a blog was cheap and nasty. I wanted to point out that replying to such a blog could be considered cheap and nasty too but I didn’t think he was ready to listen to that either. We had a very awkward lunch and one drink in the Kings Arms while he sulked like a little girl and we didn’t get on nearly as well as the first time we had met. I concluded that he was hypocritical and immature. I don’t think I’ll bother to call him again.

By the way, the reason he asked to be called Robin is because he wore a green hoody so I would recognise him, Robin Hood, get it? I know, it’s terrible.

Current exclusion criteria:
-married men
-people who list more than 2 insecurities during any 5 minute period
-people who feel they need to take consecutive showers in order to be truly clean
-people who can’t judge the right and wrong moments to start a kiss
-women
-people who don’t reveal their gender before the date
-people who demand a decision too soon
-people who wear too much aftershave
-people I don’t find physically attractive
-people who charge for sex
-people who offer me money for sex
-people who sulk
-hypocritical people

Negative Feedback

I've started to receive some negative feedback particularly as a consequence of my post about "real sex." Also one gentleman wrote to me to say:
This blog's vile. Have some self-respect. Failing that, have some respect for the world, and refrain from showering it with this pathetic filth.
I have to say that although some people might not like everything I have to say, I intend to report even the less socially desirable aspects of my quest (if the quest could ever be called socially desirable!) I learnt from discussions with Miss XX that my attitude towards what constitutes sex was incorrect and rather than shying away from the subject and pretending I never had those somewhat silly views, I discussed the attitudes that I had had and hopefully, portrayed that they had changed, all in that one post.

I appreciate all kinds of feedback, please keep sending it in.

Planned lunch with "Bondage Guy"

I’m really looking forward to my lunch date. I enjoyed meeting APJ so much yesterday (despite his negative feedback about me) that I’m quite optimistic about meeting suitors of more sound character than the married man Mr C and the insecure TG, not to mention the highly offensive MH. This next suitor asked to be referred to as Robin, I’m not sure if that’s his real name or not. A friend had forwarded him the link. What attracted me to Robin was the fact that he initially emailed me with an amusing story of his own that he thought I could somehow incorporate into my site. He told it so well that I think I’ll post it exactly how he wrote it.

You seem as unlucky in love is I do. A friend of mine set me up a blind date once with somebody from his office. She was very sexy until she opened her mouth to laugh and “Eeeee eeeee eeeee!” came out. It was the loudest most squeaky giggle in the world and everybody in the pub was looking. I kept buying her drinks to keep her mouth otherwise busy. Still she managed to fit in “Eeeee eeeee!” between every sip. Because I’d been to the bar so many times, I was also getting rather drunk and I took her back to my place. She even made “Eeeee!” sounds in bed. I couldn’t stand it, I had to keep kissing her to try and shut her up. In the end I suggested some light bondage. I don’t usually go in for that sort of thing but I tied an ex up once using a scarf and she seemed to like it. I thought this girl might like the idea and then I would have an excuse to gag her but she was shocked and declared that she wanted to go home. She didn’t make anymore “Eeeee!” noises and I was able to sleep in peace. I still had ringing in my ears for three days afterwards.

Redefining Sex

Following the post where I revealed my somewhat naïve attitude towards non-penetrative sex, I’ve had a few emails advising me to take things in small steps rather than just rushing to go “all the way.” One girl, (let’s call her Auntie A because I felt as though she were replying to a letter I’d written to a problem page in “Just 17” magazine) begun her letter of advice “I know it’s not necessarily my place to say…” but it is her place and I really appreciated hearing from her. Anybody who doesn’t want advice shouldn’t set up a blog like mine. The information that people have been sending me is fascinating but I’m starting to feel as though I am robbing myself of something special – the chance to discover each delicate act for myself by actual experimentation. That doesn’t mean that I’m not very glad for the detailed responses because if I hadn’t received them I wouldn’t have had cause to realise that I am too focused on penetrative sex. Auntie A, like one or two others, pointed out that very few women are physically capable of achieving orgasm through penetration alone. I think I had heard that before from a friend but I assumed her boyfriend just hadn’t been doing it right. Following Auntie A’s email I have decided to personally redefine my goal from “Intercourse between a penis and a vagina” to “Orgasm with partner present.” Thanks Auntie A for the advice.